Day #20: Dare

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Dare.

Dare?

Really, dare?

I don’t know about that.

I am probably one of the least daring people I know.

Maybe some of you out there who know me might tell me different. Maybe some of you out there will tell me that I am underestimating myself. Maybe you’ll say that you think I’m bold, or daring, or courageous in some way.

I’m not feeling it.

I’d love to be more daring. Especially when it comes to people. I’d love to be courageous. To be a person who says truthful things, even when it is difficult. Who will speak up when I’m upset. Who will raise difficult issues in conversation.

It’s earned me a reputation, I think, as a diplomat. As a nice person. It’s also earned me a reputation as someone who will listen without judgement. I kind of like that.

Still, there are times it feels hollow, times when I feel I sell myself short because I haven’t said what’s on my mind.

I’ve gotten better, for sure. I have begun to care not as much about whether people will be mad at me for saying something to upset them. After all, the people who truly love me will stick around, even if they are grumpy. The people who don’t would find a reason to leave anyway. I sure feel I still have a long way to go.

Always a journey.

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