Writers Wanted

So I’m in the hallmark store, right? And I have the same problem every time I go to pick out a card for my husband. Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day – I put off getting a card because I know how aggravating it is.  So I go to look under “husband birthday” or even “love.”

Half of it is sappy, saccharin drivel: “You’re the one I want to share my life with forever.”

The other half is cute puppies and bears.

I don’t have anything against puppies. Really I don’t. But couldn’t there be some middle ground? Hoping for some other way to send the very best, I check out the generic birthday cards. Several obstacles here:

1. I don’t need to make fun of my husband’s age. Yet.

2. It might seem creepy for me to give him some “here’s a hottie” wishes.

3. I think he may be past the beer cards.

4. Ditto for the bodily function cards. Those can from the children.

So I’m asking you. Begging you. Maybe you have a better idea? Post it here along with your resume. I’ll try and get you on board with the card people.

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5 Responses to “Writers Wanted”

  1. Pat Says:

    Wanna know what Ed and I do sometimes? Especially because the whole Hallmark thing seems so artificial. If we happen to be shopping together and it’s near our anniversary, we’ll each find a card, share it with the other, and call it done. We never buy it but just have fun laughing and finding the perfect sentiment, or not so perfect sentiment depending on our frame of mind. It’s fun! Plus we haven’t been swept up by the whole greeting card business. 🙂 I don’t think the card people would be interested in my resume. 🙂

  2. kimberley king Says:

    buy blank cards in several varieties. keep them in your desk. when a birthday comes up, write in your own sentiments.

    that’s what I do….

  3. Mike SP Says:

    Heya

    Not worrying about spousal experience, my ideer would be to find one of those record-able cards (or create an audio iPod location) & say, “honey remember that time when you (fill in from numerous options)…I forgive/cherish/hated that.”

    Just a thought. Down with the drivel-meisters!

    • Lainie Levin Says:

      My son already took that idea. He used the one with the “hamster dance” song. Hard to top that.

  4. Another Hallmark Moment « Reflections, Rants and Raves Says:

    […] Today, I was with Thing #2 looking for birthday cards for his dad. Of course, he found something right away. Some musical card with a “you’re great” kind of theme. But greeting cards for my husband? Echhh. Between the cute lil’ puppies and inspirational sayings, I nearly threw up. Those of you who’ve read me before know exactly how I feel. […]

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