1. My kids have an interest in fishing.
2. The park district loans out fishing rods at the nearby pond.
3. For free.
4. Free fishing rods, especially those used by kids who seem to have about as much respect for stuff as mine do, are worth what you pay for them.
5. It’s harder to go to a store and find fishing equipment than you think.
6. My children have somehow acquired a case of the “MamacanIhaves,” a particularly nasty case that has been building up over time. Any home remedies would be greatly welcomed in the comment section.
June 27, 2011 at 10:05 pm |
I combat the “mamacanihaves” with a simple “what can you do for me?” If they really want something, then they’ll be willing to earn it by doing things around the house, giving you the time you need, etc. I set the negotiation based on the “want”. Bigger items require more to-do’s for me: chores, music practice time, no TV time.
Hope that helps!
June 30, 2011 at 11:20 pm |
I’m still waiting for what they can do for me. We agreed on: 1. Cleaning the bathroom; 2. Donating that week’s allowance; 3. Doing their laundry (already a chore); 4. Picking and performing one surprise chore that would impress me. Still waiting on 3 and 4…
June 28, 2011 at 6:56 am |
“MammaCanIHave?”
If I could have one do-over from the time my kids were little, I would say ‘yes’ more often. Not that I’d spoil them with ‘stuff’, but that I’d take a deep breath and think about it and look at it from all angles before blurting out ‘no’.
I’m thinking I missed some opportunities to talk about budgeting for it, and going home and deciding in the morning if it was something they still really wanted, and giving them the challenge to figure out how to make it happen — negotiate, work, trade, bargain.
So my new answer might be, “Sure you can have it. Now, how are you going to make them happen?”
You’re my mommy role-model! Let me know the next installment.
sbb
June 30, 2011 at 11:21 pm |
I agree with you, Sue. I hear myself saying “no” way too often. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier for them to hear “no” if they heard “yes” a bit more often. I’m trying it, at any rate…
July 8, 2011 at 8:06 am |
I use the “1-2-3 Plan” of Limit Setting w/ exceptions that are TRULY exceptions and “Enforceable Statements” a lot. I also focus on “need vs. want” and teaching them the difference. I find ways to say no without using the word “no.” I tell them to put it on their wish list. I used all of these a lot-esp. when they are little. As they get older they seem to “get it.” (BTW, Reid is still working on getting it).